Although as you may of noticed, even my new music can do horrible horrible things to my weak little mind.
While Im here though, I feel the intense need to go through my ipod playlist right now and the meaning of every song.
Yes, Im that tired, and that desperate for relief from the pains that linger inside of me.
Oh did I meantion the entire left side of my head is swollen. I really need to start wearing my helmet all of the time. It was just a pretty day and I wanted to enjoy it for a second.
I actualy found this one just a few days ago. It fits into both of our situations now, just for her I suppose she would be talking about a guy.
In a strange enough coincidence; this is the song that I literally thought I killed myself to while riding today. Strange little things in life huh.
For this next one. . . . turn your speakers up a little bit.
This is my feel good song. It makes my hips shake, and my arms wave. I killed this one for awhile I must admit. Its one of a select few songs that make me instantly happy.
Im really getting sick of these bands not letting you embed their actual video. Wouldnt that be better for their appearance anyways?
Well, anyways. This is my pumped song. This is the song that I turn to when the session is getting slow and I just blast it. It puts me back in the spot where I need to be to just ride and not think.
Im glad I actualy got to embed the video this time or this song would come across as stupid (and it still might to some, and I cant necessarily blame them, the intro is kinda lame) but the video kinda just makes me what to cut my hair shorter, die it dirt bag blond, and start on a tattoo collection (ive already picked out a few, its just a matter of time now). Also the original version of this song has some meaning to me and the woman that I find myself staying awake through the night for. God I hate myself.
Let the music make my words. Sorry, another song were they wont let me use the damn video.
When Im tired, sweaty, and alone, this is my back pocket card. The shins know how to break my heart without knowing me. Ya, that good.
If the queen wasnt in there then what kind of playlist would this be exactly? Even if the video and words are off. . . . . just look away and listen.
This is one that you have to watch the actual video of. Youtube, not that hard to find.
Everytime you hear this song, realize that everytime ive heard it i cried like a grown man on the pavement. partially because of that line.
The lord showed me dreams of my daughter, she was crying inside your stomcah. . . and i felt love. . . again. . . . . . .
Thats what Im going to end this entry on. Im sure I left out a couple, but these are my go-tos and my addictions. Bloodstream is also in this (directly beside the song above) playlist, but ive already mentioned that, so ill save my tears of bringing it back up.
I love you all from the bottom of my heart. Everyone has helped me progress as a human being in some way, and there is no way I could ever repay my friends and my family for their love and support. Everyone I have around me are amazing people that my life could not function without. I thank you all, and I love you all. I couldnt ask for better friends, I couldnt pray for a better family, and I couldnt of loved a woman anymore.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Im still not entirely intact.
Some days are better than others.
Some days I see light at the end of the tunnel.
Most I grieve as though a loved one died.
Friends help.
They keep me occupied and unaware.
Sometimes though, it gets to me and I struggle.
Manchester Orchastrea has fucked with my head.
Their music has incompased my life.
And then there is one other song.
Its even a little hard to listen to.
This song repeated my entire trip back from Johnson City the other night.
An amazing day for a bike rider. Decent weather. . . . for most of the day. Nice and sweaty.
I am in an exceptionally good mood. Exceptionally.
The Kooks= True Rock Stars
Did I get to mention it was Michelle's birthday today?! Twenty. We have already hung out once today, and Im about to head out and see her again. Not getting back together yet, but it still makes me very happy to see her of course.
There is nothing that I can say that I havent already said. Nothing I can do that I havent already tried. Its in her hands now. The only thing I can do is try and better myself while she is gone.
I do miss her so.
There isnt a minute that has gone by that I havent thought about her and what she may be doing.
I am being over bearing again. . . . . thats not the man I want to be to her. I want to be understanding of her feelings all the time. It just hurts.
Im a boreing blogger when I dont have her.
Oh how I miss her.
Monday, August 24, 2009
So very sore. Pedal in knee; makes for a unhappy Adam. . . . As do other things.
I didnt speak to her at all today.
I heard a song today on the radio; it made me more sad than I had originaly expected most anything to do.
Another fact: We even watched this movie together.
Sore; yet I will probably just ride all day tomorrow.
Sad; yet I understand her reasons.
Miss her; yet I know how I love her, and know how I need her.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Nice clothes-check
Her favorite cologne-check
Good attitude-check
Chances of her leaving me-already happened
Im not good at this. Not being around her is painfull in more ways than I can concieve. No touch, no kiss, no love, no eyes. I miss her eyes. Those eyes that looked into my own and told me how they loved me. Those eyes have more of my heart riding on them than anything else imaginable.
She needs her space, and I understand. . . . . . . . . . I do. Some things in life are painfull because you care for a person, because you know you want them to be happy even if you are not. She is the pride of my life and I dont know how long I can live without her. Weeks? Months? Years? a Lifetime? How could I predict my ability when I am doughting tomorrow.
I love her; I do. I hope she finds who she really is, and I hope it involves my right hand interlocked with hers
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Two month old cranks. . . . . . gonezoooo
My hearts broken. Thats why I bought the parts with a good warante.
Michelle and I are doing much better. In case you didnt know; we werent doing so great earlier.
When riding first began in my life it seemed simple. The tricks for some reason seemed easily obtainable. In my little mind I pictured myself finally being able to bunny-hop 2 bricks stacked ontop of eachother one day, and then being able to 360 down a huge set the next.
Whenever I see a rad little dude (or gal; lets not be sexiest here) I wonder what gives them the drive.
In my eyes; looking back now; even I dont know how I really felt hope at becoming anything more than just a little kid on a bike. Those bricks never got stacked very high very quickly. I guess I just realized the progression over time and it pleased me enough to go on. Either that; or I had just already rapped up to much time and effort into something to give up on it.
When I was young and trying to ride I looked to guys like josh, nebo. . . . well and a few others I suppose. But those guys were so good. They could manual forever, throw tricks when they wanted to, and they always seemed to progress so much more everytime I saw them.
How did I have hope?!
Primarily I believe what drove me into the sport/lifestyle I posses today was my constant urge for something exciting, diffrent, intriguing, and obtainable. I never really liked skateboarding anyways (i had a nac for tinkering with things and bikes just fit that category better.) Then again I always liked speed. At one point in my life I even raced dirt bikes but just never really got into it (my dad always did my bike repairs.)
Maybe thats it! Honestly after babbeling on this entire time I might of just realized my reasoning for doing what Im doing today.
Because I could do it on my own. No one to tell me what trick I had to do, how my bike had to be set. . . . fucking anything!
I honest to god just realized that and I have been pondering this subject for the better part of the afternoon and night.
Maybe for me it wasnt about getting better; although it probably did boost my self-esteem. Maybe for me it was just about being alone in my room working on MY bike that nobody else could or really wanted to deal with, or at springbrooke park dicking around on my own time doing my own thing because my mom had better things to do in a day then watch an overly hyperactive child.
Shwoooo. . . . . . . . .
Not that I finally got the epiohany out of the way; what drives me to get better today?
Maybe it still has something to do with the fact that is all mine. I ride whenever I have an oppurtunity and no one can really stop me even to this day. (i like to ride on my lunch breaks as well.) I think alot of it is; I still have that mantallity that I could be pro tomorrow if I just keep pushing and trying. Who knows? I sure as hell hope so.
Even if I dont though, I will always have my memories from my riding, my riding friends, my best/riding friends, my riding roadtrips, and my riding parties.
This little "hobby" or "sport"; whatever you want to catagorize it as has givin my life and made me into the person I am today; wether good or bad.
I love my bike, I love my friends, and I love a clear day with nothing to do but ride my favorite spots and progress.
New bike new bike holy fucking shit I have a new bike! Rad as fuck, fast as fuck, but most of all dialed. . . . . decent. I might have pics up eventually when I get my fat lazy ass up and actualy charge my point and shoot batteries. . . . . I dunno.
I finally have a camera again! Ok ok, so it may just be a little Olympus point-n-shoot, but damnit, its fun to have a camera again. All of this is of course in thanks to my beautful loverly Michelle.
Today her and I had some time to hang out and spent it wisely by sitting at a McDonalds taking way to many dumb dumb pictures.
In other news; McDonalds still has the little lemon cookies!!!!!! Holy fuckshit batboy, I thought these kinda delicouis cookies died out after my balls dropped. Those little cookies made a very interesting time for Michelle and I. . . . . . observe
Did you know that Nathan Williams has this hat and wears it all the time too. It was already my favorite hat, but now I am going to my grave with the s.o.b
Dont pick fun at me, I was excited
Michelle and I had to fight over the first one. . . . . I won
So dddeeelllliiicccooouuussss
This picture doesnt really pretain to the subject but damnit shes pretty. No; shes not upset, thats the face she wears in almost every picture. It can become quiet disheartening
I miss my bike, my girl, and the confidence I once possesed in riding street.
I want my own bike, my ankle to be better, and to be somewhere with just a orgasmic kind of bowl.
I need to sleep so I can whore out my plasma in the morning and maybe actualy have a little money in my pocket. (the lint is getting oh so lonely)
A camera would be nice. . . . . a video camera.
I need to ride some street by myself and with an ipod and do something cool untile i eat concrete.
Stephen accomplished clicked tuck-no-handers. He looked like jesus on the cross; his arms were so far out. Congrats Stephen!
My inverts are still "coming along": atleast I would hope so considering I didnt try anything else tonight.
I hope it doesnt rain tomorrow so that I can ride on my day off.
P.S. I love you guys for taking pictures. It almost makes me feel accomplished in some wierd wierd way when I have a picture to show for something. May many good things come to you and your familys.
Good Day and Goodnight
From the Goose to you.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Has summer begun yet? I dont mean officaly of course; Im not talking about dates or anything. I was just wondering is this the beginning of my summer. I almost feels like it I suppose. Its getting warmer, some vegetation is starting to return, most of all though; Im starting to refocus my thoughts back to summer setting. Traveling, riding, friends, family; all of these thoughts are hightened around this time somehow. I believe it has something to do with the smog infested air; I could be wrong.
In other news; Michelle, my amazing girlfriend, has just recieved a new niece. All seven pounds eleven ounces of a beautiful little girl. Her name is Annibel (god, please excuse me if I spelled that incorrectly) and she is nothing but a honest to goodness amazing little angel.
Now right that last part off seeing as it was one of the most horrindicly gay things I have said in recent times.
In even more other news, Im in the process of getting a new loan for a brand new bike!
Wowza, I am one cool kid. So much has been happening for me and I dont know why. I got a new bike up and going, I started a new part-time job, and my girlfriend is going to England for a month soon. Holy crap; I dont even know if I am excited anymore.
Let start off with my bike. A 1970/80ish something or another FUJI BERKLEY. Its rad. 52/16 gearing, a mountain bike seat, one good tire, one dry rotted tire, and brakes that work ever so slightly to say the best. I dig it, and its fun, and its fast. Its my new baby.
The new job? Its alright I do suppose. I am the new lot associate at the Chapman Highway Home Depot. Now you may be wondering what lot associate means in Home Depot lingo. . . . . it means bitch of the store. I am the buggy boy, the loading boy, the customer service boy, and the sexiest man. I dont mind though, and I kinda like the job.
Last but not deffinetley not least. MY BABY IS LEAVING ME! For the days from July 07 thru July 27 I will be nothing more than a hoplessly sad individual that will get nothing but riding a little kids bike around knoxville accomplished. I miss her already.
In other news; I have pictures!
Side view of the beautiful Berkley
Notice how beautiful and shiny I made the largest sprocket known to man
This was from the first ride on the new setup. I am very very proud of the muddiness on this beautiful bike of mine. I hope to see much more on it in the near future.
I really need to find another trick to do. This one is compliments of my good friend Corey with this new camera. I.E. I wont be happy untile I atleast get my tires to about where my shoulders are in this picture; in case anyone was wondering.
Michelle (my lover) commented on how I hadnt posted a picture of her yet on my new fangled blog; so in her honor I posted a picture of her eating easymac in my car on one of her lunch breaks.
Johnathan did a horrible horrible. . . bad thing; he decided to buy a road bike and transform it into a "sick fast" single speed/fixie. In reality Im just estatic for him, I mean honestly he was getting fat anyways; he needs the exercise. This inturn gave me the oppurtunity to finally build up my FUJI and actually have someone to ride with. Im quiet excited! So far my gearing is crazy (52/16) and I still have front and back brakes but its still pretty cool I believe.
As for pictures; Im lazy. Ill have'em up soon but as of right now its still a masterpiece in the making so hold your freakin hourses.
P.S. I love Corey and Stephen; they make my head feel real big and all by complementing/commenting this beast of a page. Grrrrrrrr. Oh and Stephen, dont worry, your not an old grouchy man and honestly if that post came out sounding like that in the least I am so so so soooo sorry. I was just feeding off of how you were talking about how you were going to fuss and then you realized you just wanted to ride. I dig it man. I love all three of the guys that read this page and I hope that I can keep up this moderatley entertaining page. Just to keep you spellchecker busy.
P.S.S I reall do have really really bad grammer and spelling so please bare with me. I know it looks like a dieing moose but please look on the bright side. . . . . . . Im pretty.
Ok ok, so I got snoopy. What can I say; I have to much time on my hands. In my snoopiness I read something. . . something that struck me. Its a post by Stephen speaking on the Knoxville bmx scene. He tells of how he was going to blast about how unromantically horrible our scene can be. I agree with him, yet respectably disagree aswell. Yes. we have some thick skulled, dumbass, and just mostly moranic kids (including myself). But on the other hand I think that is what makes our scene great. We are a mix match of the dumbest most pathic people around these parts. Hardly any of us truely ever agree/like eachother, but again, that is what makes us great in my eyes. I have been on to many road trips and to many cities not to love our scene.
Everywhere else I have been feels more like a highschool click to me; more than a scene. These scenes have been to intertwined with eachother so long that they have become clones in a world that is suppose to be a structure of indivdualistic people searching for a reason to exist more than just a paycheck and a kiss on the cheek.
Nashville for example has become a horrible cloneing factory of Nathan William's es. Every rider has the same bike, same clothes, SAME FUCKING STYLE, and the exact same tricks. This of course breaks my itty little tiny heart because then bmx to me has lost its entire meaning! Here it switches from some crazy little expierment of self growth to a creepy little click of kids who havent quiet forgotten just how it felt to fit in, in highschool.
So to conclude my hopeless and useless rant I must say. Stephen you are so very very right; all of the bmx scene here is a bunch of bullshit. We are ununited, unorganized, and unwilling and in alot of ways we suck because of this. But for now Im going to try to turn a hopefull eye to the brighter side of our scene and look at how all of our flaws add up to make our uniqueness; which I honestly and truely believe that in all of its cheesy, wanna be hopless romantisim is BMX. And damnit, I hope it stays that way. . . . well kinda.
As for the skatepark. I hate skater/biker drama and I hate the idea of not being able to ride one of my favorite places in this entire city to ride, but if that happens I hope that we could just crudge through it and take some hammers to some copeing. Hey, technically Im still a kid so I sorta kinda have the right to be thick headed. . . . well kinda.
So yesterday went midly more swimmingly then previous days. The harsh rays of daylight finally burned scars back into my eyes. . . . . . I also took pictures. It all went quiet well, Alex was there and the riding was great. There were alot of cameras being shown off (namely corey's new piece of awesomness. Thus I felt like a complete tool with my poor little camera that is only a stones throw away from being the most simple of point-n-shoots. Even with this delima of insecurity I still managed to shoot some pictures. . . even if they were of a lower grade than my
elders.
Stephen with one of his more beautiful 270s over the hip. Notice the scooter he is persumebly trying to destroy.
Kyle in all of his sexiness.
Stephen over the hip. Do you hear the jealousy in my typing?
Im still up in air on the fixed gear trend. In alot of ways I can dig it. Its fast, its slightly dangerous, and its on a bike. All of these are pretty rad reasons for me to want one, and in alot of ways I do. On the other hand; it has its down falls. Namely the fact that I live in the hills, which would make traversing any amount of ground very difficult on a bike I couldnt stop pedaling on. Not to mention that fixed gears (or fixies if your in the loop) have become the new "scene" kid craze. Although I actualy converse with many of the scene kids in my area; I still cant stand behind anykind of trend like this.
There is something though that has pushed me a little closer to the mindset of wanting a fixed gear bicycle.
The group of men that we all know in the bmx community as some of the craziest and coolest motherfuckers in the scene have come out with a new line of fixed gear frame and forks. The guys over at FBM bicycles has thrown me in a loop with some radest shit Ive seen for anything besides my beloved bmx.
This is their stylish yet still understated frame "The SWORD". Although the name is kinda over stated its still rad as fuck. . . it comes in other colors too.
These of course are thier oh so sexy forks! Notice those sexy colors and the beautiful craftmanship!
This is exactley how I imagine a fixed gear bike. Clean, smoothed lined, and fast.
Ok, so maybe it isnt smooth and clean, but it sure is fast and sexy. If nothing else, its bad ass.
Jim Baurs personal fixed gear. Sexy isnt it. I love it when any kind of bike besides a bmx one has bmx parts on it. The Mike Aitken seat is sexy, isnt it.
Today has been equally as interesting as the last few days. Although I did make a slight apperance at the skatepark. It asleast gave some time to look more closely at the lines I have been thinking about this entire week.
In other news; my papaw's uncle and sister in-law came over lastnight which was atleast interesting.
My sister, my aunt, and my uncle
My papaw and my nana
Ok ok. . . so I got bored during the hours worth of biblical conversation and took some random pictures. This one is my favorite, I dont know why, but I think its cool enough.
I really meant to flip this picture over before I put it on here but I got kinda lazy and forgot it. Its nothing really new ( the swelling has gone down a bit) but I just wanted to take a better pick of it.
And this of course is my sad face because I had to lay around on my fat ass all day when everyone else was out riding thier bikes and riding trails.
Well; its a beautiful day outside and guess who is not out enjoying it. Its rough to be such a big pansy and be hurt for any amount of time. According to Chad; the skatepark is completley empty at this very moment, except for the exception of a few riders.
I had to take some pictures of my foot. Unfourtantley I only had my phone to take the picture at the moment. I hope you enjoy.
This is a great picture of the night that the kids from Kingsport went and purchased lighting to keep the skatepark lit well into the night. I espically like this photo because you can make out John sitting atop the dugout. . . . looking confused.
He didnt make the tailwhip, but I still like the way the picture came out.
180 barspin by the infamous Nebo. He has these things on lock.
What better to do on an injured day then lay around and write about useless nonsense that I find intriguing? That is the reasoning in which I find myself here today. Seeing as I ride a bmx bike my current predicament was only an inevitability. It started out as a simple high speed 180: but oh how a foot slipping of a pedal and finding its way underneath the bike whilst still rolling backwards will ruin a good day. So here I am; making another "contribution" to the craze known as blogging. Oh how I hope I really do stick to it this time; wouldnt that be fantastic.
In other knews. . . . I must post photos!!!
This is my favorite picture I have ever taked
-John with his beautiful abubaca
Everyone has to make fun of Tim's hair at some point
Tim with his crazy hair on a wall ride
Dont worry. . . I didnt miss it. . . he just didnt make it
John getting high on a wallride
I had to have atleast one of myself. Thanks to Steven for taking it
